If reading this article made your shivering sack recoil high up in your loins like a cringing collie, watch out! Next time you're invited to a "ball game," ask questions before you arrive, and wear a protective jock-cup, just in case. Hemorrhaging, shock, and testicle rupture are the penalties inflicted upon stupid players, and careless castrati can bleed to death. Serious caution must be maintained with any of the procedures above. It's a ball-clamp that eliminates blood circulation in six hours the deceased nuts "can be cut off without any pain or bleeding," notes.
The "Elastrator" - also available at large-animal veterinary supply houses - is another popular method. Anesthetics and a sheep, pig, goat and cattle device called the "Burdizzo clamp emasculator" make the procedure "quite painless" according to a Florida survivor named Gelding. Electrocution is also exciting, if you're into CIA scenes.Ĭastration: The Vienna choir boy cut is absolutely the last inning in anyone's ball game, but many still seek this "sack-rificing" adventure. Temperature Tortures: Immerse the naughty nuts in a tiny hot tub, or scald them in a bowl of cooked rice. If hauling around industrial loads isn't your style, replace the cargo with a large bag of candy. Testicle Weights: Dangle fish-lead from a chain or rope wrapped around the top of the scrotum.
#Jammit my ball my game full
Scrotal Infusions: For a " puff daddy" appearance, squirt your bag full of a sterilized fluid, like saline, distilled water, or diluted Lidocaine.
Straps (as wide as four inches) can be Velcro, leather, or even metal - if they're very naughty slaves. Wrap straps around the top of the scrotum - this will force the nuggets south into the tight, anguished sack. But beware of gangrene, and other infections.īall Stretchers: Another technique that develops droopy baskets. Scrotal Implants: Want lower-hanging balls? Just slice open your sack, and pack it with stainless steel. Vice grips, rubber bands, and blood pressure cuffs can also provide squishy fun. The "scrotum ladder" lines the tissue between the testicles with stairs of "jewelry." It would be a hassle taking all this stuff off at an airport's metal-detection station! Other piercings are the "hafada" and "trans-scrotal."īall Crushing: Encase the terrified sacks in wet leather when it dries they'll be shrieking. Scrotal Piercings: The "guiche" ring is inserted near the rear of the balls, by the gritty perineum (seems like you might accidentally wipe some shit on it). Rubber mallets and drumsticks are also employable. Poke 'em sharply with pencils, or whip 'em with a miniscule cat 'o nine tails. Below, I've also posted several torturous recipes that can be imposed upon eager gonads:īall Beating: Slap, punch, and squeeze the pitiful beanbags.
#Jammit my ball my game plus
Online forums exist for anyone curious about ball-brutalization - savage tips and surgical advice are suggested, plus references to dominatrixes and masters who specialize in scrotal inquisition.
Like water balloons, they'd wetly explode like volcanic zits. Gooey pain coursed out of my groin, mingling with anticipatory fear and fantasy - another twist, I believed, would shatter my balls. Twenty years later, "Mistress Josephine" resurrected this memory when she twisted my testes. Our endurance ordeals caused second-degree burns, scabbing, and dangerous layers of tender skin-peeling. My brother Oliver and I used to maim ourselves in nutty, scorching contests - we'd press our hairless scrotums against illuminated light bulbs until one of us surrendered. "Show some balls" is the slang demand for an exhibition of courage perhaps this explains why I challenged my pair when I was prepubescent. Sweaty vulnerability, combined with totemic status as tanks of testosterone, marks the dangling pouches as principal targets for cutting-edge S/M games. The wrinkled "turkey wattle" bags that sequester a man's "family jewels" are densely webbed with nerve sensitivity a swift kick to the wobblies is crippling.
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